So everyone knows I’m in love with Dave… Even Dave knows it. Lately we’ve made some decisions about our relationship that are going to take us to grand and beautiful places. I’m so excited for us. But as we were talking about these decisions, we talked about some other things, too.
Like the fact that he is terrified for marriage- which everyone also knows, including me. He’s simply not ready for something like that. And I’m okay with it, I understand. Yesterday he said something about how we would probably break up before he ever got married, in conjunction with a statement about how he didn’t “know if we will get married or what.” I take this as progress. I have to wonder, however, what he would say or think if he knew how strongly I feel that that is exactly where our relationship is headed. Maybe not soon, not for a while. But not only is that something I want, it’s something I feel I’m going to have. And I can’t wait for that.
Every day, possibly every moment, I feel we are making decisions and doing the things that are setting us straighter and farther on the paths to our futures. I could be wrong about our paths staying interconnected for eternity, but I don’t really feel I am. Either way, connected or not, we’re going the right way. We’re doing the right things to promise our salvation, our peace. I have never loved another the way that I love him, nor do I want to. He is so special, so sacred and wonderful. I thank God every day for the love He’s blessed us with, and for the opportunity to be with someone who, in all honesty, has saved me.
One day, when my beautiful daughter asks me who my first love was, I don’t want to pull out old photo albums. I don’t want to dig through a box of old letters, search the dusty recesses of my mind, tell fantastic and tragic tales of love gone awry. I want to point across the room at my husband and say to my little girl, “He’s right there.”